We are often asked about our views on goal setting; “Is it effective? Should I do it? How far out should I set goals for?”
The simple answer is you must know where you want to get to in order to know if what you are doing now is working. But most where most people get tripped up in goal setting is not that actual goal itself, but the foundational beliefs in which their goals are built upon.
Two ingredients are absolutely critical…
Confidence is knowing and believing that what you are up to, setting your goals on, going after your dreams and fulfillment is actually achievable.
Esteem is knowing and believing that you are worth having all that you say you want and desire.
If you set goals and don’t believe that they are achievable then you are ultimately setting yourself up to fail over time.
As well, if you do not believe that you are worth having what you say you want you most likely won’t even begin any kind of process to achieving it.
For example, if you want to live an extraordinary life, on the beach or near the mountains, doing what you love, being around the people you care about and you have a belief that that is unachievable and would be sheer luck if it ever happened, then you will give it a half-assed attempt at best to making it happen. And ultimately, if a few obstacles get in your way, you will most likely give up the dream or plan altogether.
Furthermore, if you have the very same dream but believe that you aren’t worth having it happen for you and that it would only be true for people that really earned it, people that are gifted, worth it and deserving of it, then it won’t even enter your consciousness of how and where to begin.
This goes for any goal like losing weight, saving money, getting into a relationship etc. Take for instance seeing a beautiful woman that you want to talk to and one of these thoughts comes to mind;
- She’s would never be attracted to a guy like me
- I’m destined to be alone
If those beliefs and thoughts are going through your mind then you will unconsciously create all the circumstances to make yourself right about it.
It’s critical to be aware of your belief systems so that you can keep the ones that are serving you and let go of those that bring you away from what you want.
The good thing about beliefs is that they aren’t truths and you can literally practice any that you want.
We are not talking about “fake it ‘til you make it”, we are talking about noticing the inner belief that is driving you and reframing it in a way so that you can practice it effectively. When you have your foundational belief system set of confidence and esteem, putting that in alignment with any goal makes it not only possible but inevitable.
To this end, we highly encourage you to pay attention to any limiting belief conversations that you may be having with yourself on a daily basis. Every time you catch yourself repeating a negative pattern interrupt it and replace it with a positive one.
Which self-defeating beliefs are you repeating to yourself, and how have they kept you from attaining a goal you have? Leave us a comment below and let us know.